Cosmopolitan, Vogue, OK!

I read an article online addressing the fact that magazines airbrushed all of their photos, and that should make women feel better about themselves.  “These women don’t really look perfect, so it’s ok that you don’t look perfect.”  The article went on to post before and after pictures of women, and a handful of photos of men.  The differences were astonishing.

When I first heard about this, I was surprised to find magazines airbrushed photos.  Call me naïve, but I know very little about photo shop, editing, and marketing.  I never really thought about what goes into those gossip magazines I flip through at line in Wal-Mart.  Ironically, I flipped through those magazines primarily for the photos and not for the articles that only show up every ten pages.

Eventually, I felt overwhelmed with the fashion trends I couldn’t keep up with, or see the constant comparison game between really skinny women versus women who were too skinny.  It caused a significant amount of anxiety in my heart, and fed on the insecurities of my flesh that already tried to convince me I wasn’t enough of a woman.

I wasn’t skinny enough.

I wasn’t pretty enough.

I wasn’t talented enough.

I wasn’t put together enough.

There’s an old adage, “A picture is worth a thousand words”.  What my eyes drink in can drown my perception of myself as a women in unrealistic expectations.  So I choose to abstain from those magazines.  Call me conservative, archaic, or old-fashioned, but it’s just better for my heart and sense of well-being.  It’s been one of the most practical ways I’ve guarded my heart.

I can understand how it might make a girl feel better to see the before and after pictures with the better lighting, or the deeper lip color, and the removal of the bags under the eyes.

And I know the author had good intentions.

I still feel like the message is the same though: “THIS is beautiful!”; “THIS sells!”; “Put your best FAKE self forward!”.  I think for most women it all translates into the *same* message:  “You are not enough.”

But is that what beauty is?  Comparing ourselves to the standard of other women?  We claim we are the gender that values inward beauty more, but how cady we become if we feel threatened by some girl who looks more put together.   If we use each other as mirrors to make ourselves feel better, we ALL loose.

When I was heavier, people assumed I didn’t care about myself or knew what the word “diet” was, but all I could think about was my weight.  My size defined my worth, and I was in bondage to the hopelessness of never loosing weight.  Food controlled me, and every day I measure my success by what I put in my mouth.  And every time I compared myself to some other woman I invited condemnation on myself.

The thing is how we look on the outside is indicative of what is going on in our hearts.  The girl who looks like she has it all together, maybe be falling apart.  As women, there is so much more going on than how we are presenting ourselves.  There is a heart-full of emotions, truths, and lies that are defining us as women.  We have to own up to the sources feeding those lies, truths, and emotions.

And, by the way, here are examples of some of those lies: 

“I’m not enough.”

“Something is wrong with me. (Usually, this comes in the form of a question: “What is wrong with me?”)

“I need to lose weight for/to___________.”  Unless you fill that blank with “myself” or “live long and enjoy my life”, it’s a lie.

Here are examples of truth:

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE enough

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE smart.

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE talented.

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE a good friend/sister/wife/mother/daughter/employee/neighbor.

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE wonderfully made.

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE worth getting to know.  (You want to be friends?  Seriously.)

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE funny.

Did I mention you ARE beautiful?

…and even better…

You are NOT defined by how you look or feel.

You are NOT defined by your circumstances.

You are NOT defined by any man.

You are NOT defined by your dating life.

You are NOT defined by how people treat you.

And do yourselves a favor…

…put down that magazines.