The Racheal Retort

Dragons, wolves, and plans of attack

(Author’s note: I’m taking notes, and cues from other bloggers by implementing a blog schedule. Wednesdays will feature other blogs that inspire me to keep reading, writing, and blogging.)

Happy Hump Day! I know it’s the 4th of July, and maybe I should have picked a more patriotic prose. None the less, it is still the middle of the week and time tends to drag. Hopefully today’s post might help breathe some energy right into your cubicle, cup of coffee, or whatever corner of the world you occupy.

Like most blogs, I can not recall how I found Michael Hyatt’s blog. None the less I’m grateful for the discovery. His blog is a hub of productive inspiration, encouragement, and solutions. While his type A approach to life tends to intimidate my type B response to life, I have found myself implementing a lot of his “take aways“. Next week I hope to post my review of his book Platform: Get Noticed in Noisy World, a gift to me from Denise, a fellow sojourner in blogging and gospel-living.

This week, Mr. Hyatt is featuring his top posts of all time, and yesterday’s post is the focus of today’s post. It’s entitled “Slay Your Dragons Before Breakfast“. I recommend reading it, especially since his list is more all-encompassing than mine. A brief synopsis the post is this: he identifies the three challenges his faces when he gets out of bed first thing in the morning and lists three ways for conquering those challenges.

There was a problem I identified with, and solutions I could tailor to my own challenges. I immediately identified my three daily challenges as reflected on this post. Instead of a three-headed dragon, my challenges look more like 3-D wolves. Wolves tend to travel in packs, gang up on their prey, and move in quickly after going undetected for periods of time.

Here are my “3-D wolves”:

1. Wolf of Discouragement: “You can’t do this.” This phrase is hissed at me in different ways, at different times, and in different areas of my life. Some times it catches me off guard, and the next thing I know I find myself trapped under the heaviness of discouragement.

2. Wolf of Distractions: “What’s this? And this? And this?” As an extroverted, I already struggle to stay focused on Christ on a day-to-day basis. If I am not careful and alert, this distractions can lead to dangerous places.

3. Wolf of Doubt: “God isn’t who He says He is. You are not who He says you are.” Those two lies come disguised as concern, logic, and suggestions of other people. Regardless of where I hear it, the source is the same: an Enemy who is out to steal, kill, and destroy.

When all the smoke is gone, it’s the Enemy trying to attack my relationship with Christ.

Here is the plan of attack I’ve come up with:

1. Reading my bible: I must be in the Word every day, and memorize Scripture to hide it in my heart so it’s accessible. Some verses I specifically recall on a day-to-day basis include:

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” Psalm 37:5

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:2o

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and trust in the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

2. Spending time in prayer, and journaling: As a writer, I communicate a lot through writing and for years now I’ve written to God. The encouraging thing is when I take the time to sit, and really listen, He writes back to me too. Some times prayer looks like going for a walk, and mumbling under my breath if people are around. Lol. These times are vital, because God shows me where He is calling that head knowledge to heart knowledge.

3. Community: Right now I don’t have a home church, but I do have a community of believers I know pray for me, keep me accountable, and will go three miles with me when I ask them to go one mile. It’s so important to have people reminding me of the Truth of the Gospel, and to encourage me to trust the Lord.

What about your readers? Can you boil your challenges down to three areas? What would your plan of attack be?

I called a customer a thief once

(Author’s note: I’m taking notes, and cues from other bloggers by implementing a blog schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be life stories; we’ll see how it goes.)

(Author’s other note: This story is based on factual events. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

Lying and Stealing

“Do you want the paper, too?” Cheryl asked, as she handed Ben’s his coffee tumbler back.

“Oh no, I never pay for that thing. I just skim it.” Ben replied, shoving the paper with a tinge of disgust.

“Um, ok. I’ll go toast your bagel.” She turned away, as she walked to the warming oven.

I stood there, clutching the blue book against my chest, perplexed by the interaction. I was waiting for the high decibel pitch of the safe indicating to me it was ready to be opened, avoiding eye contact with Ben. I hated conflict.

“Yeah, I never pay for the paper.” His attention directed at me.

“I have no comment.” It was the best, non-confrontational response I could come up with. And it was a total lie.

“Why should I pay for it? I don’t really read all of it. I just skim it. What’s a Jew to do?” He was always making anti-Semitic jokes, but I didn’t know why. Was he really Jewish? Or was he really prejudice?

“Well, if you read it without paying for it, that’s stealing.” Oh. my. goodness. Did I really just say that?

Apparently, the fact that I was representing a huge coffee cooperation had slipped my mind momentarily, and I stepped into to some classroom setting where we were discussing ethics.

“Excuse me? Well, I can’t believe this. I come in here every damn day. I don’t have to put up with this shit. You need to look up the word diplomacy.” He stammered, facing turning red.

“Yes I do. You are absolutely right.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“I come in here every day. This is bullshit. I’m taking to your manager.” He kept mumbling profanities, and things, but the safe began to call me.

“Ben, here’s your bagel. Your total will be $3.69 with tax.” This did not include the prices of the paper. Cheryl had returned, much to my relief. When the transaction was over, I quickly explained I needed her to rectify the situation on my behalf through a “recovery coupon”.

Later that day I received a personal phone call from my District Manager.

“You realized you called him a thief, right?” she pointed out.

Nope. Not at all. She also pointed out he needed to start paying for the paper, but there were obviously other ways I could have addressed the issue. The conversation went better than I expected. I still had my job at the end of the phone call.

The next day a coworker informed me of a conversation he had with Ben.

“What happened? I’ve never seen him that upset, or heard that many cuss words in one conversation.”

I retold the story of shame that I had repeated a handful of times before to other coworkers.

I had all of their support, but I still felt awful.

The same coworker who was on the receiving end of profanity and venting, told me Mike came in one day just really down. I got a knot in my stomach. My actions were wrong, but what if they made him feel condemned?

The next three weeks were brutual. Ben and I avoided each other like children should avoid espresso. The uneasieness in my gut nawed at my conscience. I thought it would just blow over; he thought I would get fired.

I finally realized confrontation was inevitable, and it was my responsibility. I was going to have to find the right time to make things, humble myself, and apologize. I knew I was wrong, but I dreaded confrontation. How would he respond? What was I going to say? What if it made matters worse?

One Thursday night I had my opportunity. I was closing, and Ben was out walking his dog, Samson. Usually, they only came in the mornings

“Ben, I’m really glad to see you. I’ve been waiting awhile now for the right opportunity to apologize to you for how treated you that morning. I’m really sorry for how I handled that situation.”

“Well, I admire your willingness to apology.” He replied graciously.

The conversation went better than I expected. He told me a little bit about his time as a business owner, and how he fired people for a lot less. We both knew I had responded unprofessional, but every one had their moments.

After he left that night I cried. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to professionally do, but as time went on the reconciliation gave way to restoration.

I see Ben and Samson about 3-5 times a week now. And we’re friends. Just a few weeks ago we shared a patio table one morning, and learned a little bit more about the other.

Neither of us has brought up the incident since, but there’s nothing to be said. I have a deeper understanding of grace, and I think it’s safe to say he does to. And if he does read the paper, it’s after some one else has bought it.

“Prayer…is simply the expression of human need to an eager, loving Father. It is the cry of a beloved child to a Father who is ready to pour out all that He has to give.” (p. 37)

“Life is under control only when our attitude is what Jesus’ attitude was: one of continual need and constant expectation.” (p. 49)

“This word about asking for the Spirit is not addressed to unbelievers, but to believers who already have the Holy Spirit!…That does not mean the Holy Spirit comes in again and again but that we increasingly, daily give ourselves over to His occupancy and His mastery in our lives…” (p. 92)

“When believers agree, one says what is on his heart, what he believes God wants him to pray for, what he has found to be in accordance with God’s will as expressed in Scripture and in the leading of the Holy Spirit. The other believer agrees, saying what is on his heart, what he believes God wants him to pray for after also searching God’s Word and his own sense of the Spirit’s leading Where they find they agree, where they harmonize, are the areas where they can fully expect God to work…” (p. 102-13)

Here is the review I posted on Amazon:

“What a great, easy read! Stedman speaks plainly on prayer, and its vital role in the life of believers. In the first part of the book, he provides a solid foundation for why we should pray based on a clear understanding of the character of God: ‘We must either pray and not quit, move closer to God or “faint”.’ (p. 11). He builds on this foundation through the rest of the book with practical applications, and illustrations that are sure to usher a believer from feeling hopeless to feeling encouraged to start communicating with God on a more regular basis. He addresses issues such as prayer and the number of people praying, ‘binding and loosing’, and the role of the Holy Spirit in our prayers. He shows us that ‘…we need a new kind of prayer, not just more of the same kind.’ (p. 23) He also uses passages in Luke and John to bring a richer understanding of how beautifully intimate prayer really is, and what Jesus prays for us. I can not recommend this book enough. It truly is one of the hidden treasures amongst published Christian writings.”

Asking better questions: A Brief Reflection

“…You cannot say yes to the Spirit of God without, at the same time, saying no to many other things-this is simply inherent in the process of decision. So I’m not saying that living for the glory of God doesn’t cost us certain fancied pleasures and relationships which perhaps we want to hold on to. But I think we would do well to focus less on the cost of discipleship and focus more on the cost of disobedience-because it is disobedience that truly exacts a punishing cost from our lives…” (p.147-148; Talking with My Father: Jesus teaches on Prayer By: Ray C. Stedman)

I feast on the moments of communion with God; those exchanges of an everlasting love between a creation and her Creator.

As if the Cross wasn’t enough.

Those places in between the smaller destinations. The abysmal quiet in the cacophony of culture. The word of assurance seven months after a decision in the dark bewilderment.

Sure. I have atheistic tendencies to demand a sign for a wicked heart’s unbelief. Discouragement is the chief indicator that my eyes are off Jesus Christ; distractions are dead giveaways the Enemy is biting at my heels.

But more and more I find my ear tuned in to His heart, and less to the world’s voice. I take circumstantial risks to affirm the spiritual nudging in my heart, and I find my reservoir of confidence in hearing His voice grows. The circumstances serve as the toiling effort to show my own heart’s disbelief, bad attitudes, fear, and doubt; all indicators of where death needs to come.

Resurrection only comes after something dies.

Like the thin roots of a new plant, small steps of obedience have nourished my growing faith. Love rained down on the soil of His Word, as this little plant stayed rooted by His grace. What sprouted forth were questions that began to stretch out like leaves on a sunny day.

“Who do I love more: Jesus or this person’s opinion of me?”

“What do I love more: Truth or the comfort of compromise?”

“Where do I love more: Giving my life away or protectively pulling back to save it?”

“Why do I love more: because by His grace I am saved or because I want to earn some thing that is already mine?”

“How do I love more: by trusting Him where He is calling me today or by making excuses laced with pride, fear and doubt?”

I think of this quote from Oswald Chambers:

“Jesus does not ask me to die for Him, but to lay down my life for Him…It is much easier to die than to lay down your life day in and day out with the sense of the high calling of God…”

Every day I have a choice, and the more lay down my life for Him the more Life He lives in me.

“Guard Your Heart!”

It’s like the catch-all phrase married people, and parents toss out there to young people in search of love and relationships.

But what does that even mean?

I posted this video on Facebook, but this post is in response to the video. Here it is again:

What a great definition of what it means to guard our hearts. I really appreciate how Joy sums up guarding our hearts when she makes this statement: “What are you putting in and what are you protecting, because that’s whats going to seep out of you.” The idea is to put good things in and guard against it.

That principle applies to anyone at any stage of life.

I started reflecting on the ways God leads me to guard my heart. Here are a few ways He’s been leading me in this area:

1. I guard my eyes. I already covered this in an earlier post, but I don’t look at gossip magazines anymore. If God is continually speaking identity to me , why would I counter that with the teachings of what society preaches as “truth”. Cosmo’s suggestions maybe produce quicker results, but they are not lasting.

2. I guard my ears. I find deep satisfaction in listening to people’s stories and their hearts. They share fears, hopes, joys, dreams, and all things that give insight to who they are as a person. I also find when I entrust a part of myself to people, Christians and non-Christian alike, they speak to me out of the “truths” they are living out of. I must guard my heart when I hear a friend share her hopelessness in men, and getting married. I must guard myself when I share with some one my doubts about where God has me, and they want to “fix” it with their “solutions”. I must guard my mind when I talk about with postmodern college students who question the Bible’s authority and validity. I’m called to engage those around me, and the culture I live in with discernment about its influence.

3. I guard my mind. I read the Word, and meditate on it daily. I recall who God says He is, and who He says I am in Christ. I am alert to the untruths I meet externally in the world I live in and to the untruths I meet internally as I work out my salvation.

4. I guard my heart. There are hopes, dreams, and desires that God has placed within me that have yet been fulfilled. The biggest area I see this played out is in my singleness. I am 32, and I still have a strong desire to get married and a family. I have to guard against comparing myself to others, and the “excuses” for being single, so that bitterness doesn’t take root in my heart.

I also guard against holding on to those hopes, dreams, and desires more than I hold on to Christ.

God desires to make those deposits into my heart on a moment by moment basis. Guarding those deposits is like pursuing financial activities that bring interest, and minimizing profit loss. I want a spiritual rich portfolio, and for my Father to see returns on the investment made in me: a heart totally transformed to the image of Christ. I want to hear my Investor say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

(For more information, visit the blog “Love and Respect Now”. They are also on twitter @LoveRespectNow. You’ll find some great resources, and solid truths about men and women, dating, and relationships. It’s worth 10 minutes of your time.)

What does guarding your heart look like for you? Have you had a clear sense of what that has looked like, or did it come with some ambiquity?

Did you really have to drag the Bible into it?

I’m soliciting some discussion about the following statements I am about to make. I’m thinking my frustration is with other believers, but I could be wrong.

We live in a country that still affords it’s citizens a considerable amount of freedom than almost any other nation in the world. With that comes the privilege of engaging people we don’t always agree with, through conversation and debate with both the possibility that each party not only might find refinement in their own convictions but also gain a better understanding of his opponents convictions. There is the possible result that one person maybe won over by the other, but that’s not necessary for a good outcome. (Setting aside the scenario that one person shares the Gospel with another person, and the result is a response to Christ.)

With all that said, here’s the thing: I don’t care what the issue is, if you do not want to view the Bible as authoritative in your life, leave it out of your debates. I don’t care what it is, personal or political, the Bible is authoritative, in application, for those who are proclaiming Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. If you believe one thing or another, I at least commend you for deciding what you believe. But in your pursuit to communicate what you believe requires taking the Word, and picking it apart with self-serving hermanutics, just leave it alone. Just leave the Bible out of it. It’s nauseating to read, and fills me with indignation to see the results.

And I’m not talking about the “in-house debate”, to simply put it, of believers who believe in the inerrancy of Scriptures verses believers who don’t believe in the inerrancy of Scripture. I don’t go around, picking apart the Koran to prove myself. Why? Because I am not Islāmic. Would I pick it up and read it to better understand the Islāmic faith and to better engage those who are Islāmic? Absolutely.

My theology, simply put, is this: The Bible reveals that we have a BIG problem, and the only answer is found in Jesus Christ. The whole Bible is about Jesus Christ and the life that is found in a relationship with Him. If you want to find life outside of Jesus Christ, then you are a “non believer”. And that’s just truth. Just acknowledge that you want to do what you want to do, and know that you don’t need to refute certain verses to justify yourself. If you don’t want to follow Jesus Christ, than the Bible has nothing to do with you. So, if you are not a Christian, I dare say there is some “freedom” in that. Because if you are not a believer in Jesus Christ, I don’t expect you to live according to any set of Biblical standards.

Now, as a believer, I do hold the Word of God as authoritative in my life. It points out my constant need for Christ, and the conviction that comes with that revelation, by grace, draws me into a closer intimacy with the God of the Universe who loves me more fiercely, and more deeply than I could ever could imagine. And if you are a believer, I’m not called to demand that you live according to any set of Biblical standards. I am called to remind you of the Gospel, and your need for Christ. And if I see those areas that don’t reflect a life fully surrendered to Christ (aka “Biblical Standards”) than I would hope, in grace and in love, I would pursue conversations with you about what you are not believing about yourself in Christ or who God is. But I am not called to “demand righteousness” from ANY one. God is the only one who can demand anything from any one, and because we are not righteous, Jesus Christ came. So that we could be found righteous and have life.

I would love some feed back. I am open to rebuke from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ on what I have said. I am also open to engaged discussion from those of you who proclaim some other set of beliefs.

I need to brag on the Church

I’ve been going to church now for about 27 years. The church and I have a lot of history together; we go way back.

I loved growing up in church. It was the only place I felt accepted, and half way understood. It was a second family. It filled my calendar with activities. It gave me a foundation for my faith.

Then I went through my bitter, cynical phase and began to “bag” on the church. Like a prodigal child rebelling against the family, I started blaming it for all the untruths I was living out of, and the “bad” teachings I had picked up along the way. I started to view it as this culture bubble that was not preparing me for anything else in my life, unless I was going to spend my life…in church. I started criticizing it for its cultural irrelevance, hypocrisy, and began to think it had it all wrong. The church wasn’t meeting *my* expectations, and *my* needs.

And the reality is, there is some truth in all that.

I say all that, because I get why people get frustrated with church. The church has hurt people, and has misrepresented Christ. The church has gotten way to politically involved, and not involved enough in the lives of its congregants. The church has pointed people to itself, it’s doctrine, it’s denomination, it’s “authority”, instead of pointing to the One who died for it. Despite that I took church history, I can not even begin to do justice in attempting to summarize it for the purpose of this post. Suffice to say, the track record is not awesome.

And there are people, and movements out there who are trying to turn that tide, make things right, and bring about necessary change within the church.

But all those things are not what this post is about. I want to stick up for the Church. I want to brag on the Body. I want to testify to the goodness of the Church in my life. Because for all the hurt and pain that people can attest to, there are people who can attest to healing, and hope it has brought to their lives.

The Church is full of some of the most beautifully broken, graceful, loving people you will ever meet. It’s full of volunteers, great parents, good teachers, and amazing artists. It’s a demographic who is so in touch with the frailty of their own humanity that they respond to their need for a Savior in worship, adoration, and selflessness. They are full of love, hope, hospitality, and grace. They care for people no one would care about. They go to places, and risk their lives for things no one else would. And it’s all for a Person who died for them. Jesus Christ.

The Church is awesome, because it’s the Body of Christ. It’s Jesus with flesh, on earth right now, furthering His kingdom. The God of this universe is relational, and loves community.

Believers, we are family, and we need each other. We need to remind each other that we need Jesus, and only Jesus. We need each other so we can be known, and experience the healing power of confession and transparency; acceptance and growth; truth and grace.

Regeneration

I vaguely remember when I responded to the altar call. It was in this little Baptist church, with solid wood pews, and a small congregation. Like he did every Sunday and Wednesday night, the pastor preached, with a heavy Arkansas accent, about Jesus, hell, and salvation. I walked down the aisle, and th next thing I knew I was heading towards the baptismal tank. In a white room with a viewing window, a wooden cross on the wall, and “On Jordan’s Stormy Banks” playing on the piano, I had all my sins washed away.

That was twenty-six years ago. I don’t remember the exact date, but I do remember I tried to work harder for God after that decision. It was never implied by anyone, and it wasn’t directly taught. There was just this “ladder” I envisioned that I had to climb to get to God, and this unspoken “Work Harder” message that was being preached to my heart. I wanted to “do better for God”, but I found that the ebb and flow of the relationship felt a lot more like a roller coaster. That continued for the next fifteen years.

It wasn’t until I was 21, when I spent a summer going through the discipleship program, that I learned that my relationship with God didn’t have to be full of so much uncertainty. I started to look at what Scripture said about who I was before Christ, who I was in Christ, and what God said about Himself in His word.

Looking back it’s amazing how many untruths I picked up, because I wasn’t emerging myself in the Word of God. See, I thought about this and for a long time I wanted to blame the church for all the theological untruths I had picked up along the way. The reality is, while the Church clearly serves a purpose in growth and maturity of believers, I was the one not spending time in my Bible. I was the one who spent years swallowing what I was fed without checking it with Scripture, and letting the Spirit lead me in that to grow in a closer relationship with Christ.

When I responded to an altar call at age six, I now know it was a response to Some One who knew me long before time began. It was a response to a Person, and not a message. Not a doctrine. Not a denomination. (I must credit that articulate distinction to the Galatian series podcast I’ve been listening to.) For me, it’s just been a great call to go deeper in the Word. This demand is not only for the sake of cutting through all the garbage the culture and my own sin want to through at me, but also for the purpose of growing in my relationship with Jesus. So simple, but so true.

Come, follow me…

“And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.’ And immediately they left their nets and followed him…And immediately he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants and followed him.” Mark 1:17-18; 20

All Jesus says, “Come, follow me” to each of us personally.

But here in the states there is this message on Jesus’ behalf of what it means to follow him.
“Come, follow me to social justice.”

“Come, follow me to live financially secure life.”

“Come, follow me to get married and have kids.”

“Come, follow me to have a fantastic ministry.”

“Come, follow me to a life of ‘good works and behavior’.”

“Come, follow me to some thing else you can find your identity in besides Jesus.”

Some of these are all good things. Unless they keep us from the best thing: Jesus Himself.

When I truly hear Jesus calling me, I must drop everything. Immediately. And go where He leads us.

Sometimes I’m not holding on to my nets, but I am white knuckle gripping them.

People’s opinions. Financial responsibility. My own intellect, common sense, and “wisdom”. My efforts. Family. Culture. Jobs. My home. My material crap.

White knuckles are a great indicator I am in bondage to something.

Christ followers shouldn’t have white knuckles.

All that should show are our palms. Open hands, because all that we have is His.

To give and to take.

You can tell what you’re in bondage to by looking at your life.

Or lack there of.

He’s calling us to GO. IMMEDIATELY.

There is no Life in our excuses.

Drop your nets, and let’s go.

Go away from ourselves and towards Jesus.

I wonder how different your life would look if you dropped everything the moment you heard Jesus calling.

College degrees and finished things (Home again: Part 5)

(This post is dedicated to my community in Sevierville, TN. The Body of believers who know and love me as a result of Evergreen church are some of the bravest sojourners I know.)

After a five-year hiatus, I finally went back to college in 2005. The year leading up to my academic return, I was processing what the “next thing” was. I vaguely remember applying for Carson-Newman during the summer of 2004, but I clearly remember applying to be a missionary to Romania. The latter was an idea left over from a youth group event in high school, and way more appealing than ~~Ninevah~~ school.

School won, and in January of 2005 I enrolled as a 25-year-old freshman.

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I had a 40 minute commute to school, so the goal was to leave the house by 6:40a.m. The time frame was enough to stop by the gas station for my en route breakfast of champions packaged donuts, and a delicious gas station coffee. Once in a while I would treat myself to the caloric sugar atrocity known as a Venti Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks. With 2 shots of espresso and 10 pumps of pure sugar it easily assisted to my weight gain in college.

How’s that for a treat.

My car’s CD player didn’t work, and I was not the proud owner of any portable Apple gadgets yet. The radio was my only option, but morning talk shows annoy me. The last thing I wanted to listen to were people calling in about topics they had no business giving their opinion on with a fervor that should be saved for a sporting event.

Thank goodness for NPR.

They report the news like a sales ad for one of those 1-800-girl-talk numbers for dirty conversations-smooth, seductive, and just the right amount of information to make an educated decision about how not to spend your money. I could listen to people discuss important bits of news without feeling emotionally overwhelmed to respond immediately to what ever crises was happening overseas

*~*~*~*~*~*

I enjoyed the start of every semester. I’d pour over the syllabi, purchase my text books, and felt on top of the world. Yet, each semester, my excitement would wane under the weight of all the other demands in my life. I worked full-time in addition to my 12 to 15 hour semester load. Toward the end, it was a gamble to see what would be sacrificed each day.

Sleep usually made top of the list.

There were many nights I slept significantly less than 8 hours. I’d pull the occasional “all nighter” which always ended badly. I never retained nearly as much I was cramming, and then I hated my life for the next week.

And boy, did it show. Woof.

When I studied hard I got Bs, and when I didn’t I barely pulled off Cs. I never figured out my niche as a student, but four years later I walked a stage to accept my diploma.

I now have a very expensive, framed piece of paper hanging on my wall. (Yes, I took this picture with my camera phone.) I get a lot of calls about it from people too, from places like Wells Fargo and Ed Financial. And let’s be honest, I’ve yet to work a job in the last four years that requires my degree.

But that doesn’t define me as a failure. It doesn’t define success.

My degree is an Ebenezer. It’s one of my personal reminders that God is faithful, and what He calls me to He will complete. He accomplished something big through me that I know I couldn’t do myself- finishing college.

I look at it and see He is conforming to the image of Jesus-obedience, patience, endurance, perseverance, discipline, and sacrifice. God continues to call me to trust Him to carry out big things and *with* big things. What Christ accomplished on the Cross continues to be a reality my life. In each thing, big or little, I hear Jesus telling me over and over again, “It is finished.”